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Women seeking men adverts translated….
“WOMEN SEEKING MEN” Classifieds
40-ish means: 48
Adventurer means: Has had more partners than you ever will
Affectionate means: Possessive
Artist means: Unreliable
Average looking means: You figure this one out
Beautiful means: Pathological liar
Commitment-minded means: Pick out curtains, now!
Communication important means: Just try to get a word in edgewise
Contagious Smile means: Bring your penicillin
Educated means: College dropout
Emotionally Secure means: Medicated
Employed means: Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
Enjoys art and opera means: Snob
Enjoys Nature means: Bring your own granola
Exotic Beauty means: Would frighten a Martian
Financially Secure means: One paycheck from the street
Free spirit means: Substance abuser
Friendship first means: Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun means: Annoying
Gentle means: Comatose
Good Listener means: Hard to pull a word from her
Humorous means: Caustic
Intuitive means: Your opinion doesn’t count
In Transition means: Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills
Light drinker means: Lush
Looks younger means: If viewed from far away in bad light
Loves Travel means: If you’re paying
Loves Animals means: Cat lady
Non-traditional means: Ex-husband lives in the basement
Open-minded means: Desperate
Outgoing means: Loud
Passionate means: Loud
Poet means: Depressive Schizophrenic
Redhead means: Shops on the Clairol aisle
Reliable means: Frumpy
Reubenesque means: You can figure this one out
Romantic means: Looks better by candle light
Self-employed means: Jobless
Smart means: Insipid
Special means: Rode the small schoolbus w/ tinted windows
Spiritual means: Involved with a cult
Stable means: Boring
Tall, thin means: Anorexic
Tan means: Wrinkled
Wants Soulmate means: One step away from stalking
Widow Nagged means: first husband to death
Writer means: Pompous
Young at heart means: How about the rest
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4 Replies
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I resent that artist remark.
I’m VERY reliable!
When I was newly divorced, my sister convinced me to run an ad in our local rag.
It was hilarious!
My ad read something like:
SFW, 38, 5’2″ 135#, BR/HZ, NS, ISO SWM, 35-45
No wife beaters or drunks.
I requested a pic of the respondant just out of curiousity.
One guy sent me a photo of himself, sitting on a tailgate of a pickup.
There were dead birds laying all around him and he was wearing hunting gear.
He wrote “If you do not want to go out with me please send my picture back”.
I sent it back.
It kept me laughing for months, these responses.
If the person did not send a pic it was certain that they were not “30ish”
One reply smelled heavily of cheap cologne.
One was typed on a recipe card.
It was a good way to pass a boring winter tho.
Love….Jill -
Its strange how men only see what they want to see ! 😮 🙄
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Artist! 😮 ooopppsss 😳 Sorry Jill.
I know of a woman who did the same, but the woman she described in the ad was not the woman I knew. Then she complained that the guys that replied were ‘streching the truth’ when it came to their own description.
She could not understand why I thought it was funny. 😛
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quote Cheryl Tissington:Its strange how men only see what they want to see ! 😮 🙄
damn! I’ve got the female version of this but can’t find it on my PC 🙁
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