suggestions please customers keep booking but not appearing?

[Lynn Normington]

another invoice with todays wasted time in the form of a demand, 🙄

Lynn

[Karl Williams]

Go and see him, give him the bill and tell him you require the full amount in cash or you will send it to court. I’ve had this before. When you book someone in and they don’t turn up it costs you money because you can be doing something else and keeping a client happy who appreciates you.

Or you could shoot him in the groin. 👿

[Phill Fenton]

I’m sorry but none of those suggestions are sufficient. I need some inspired thinking to come up with a truly great punishment that will ensure my honour has been satisfied 😕

[Joe McNamara]

What type of Biz is it Phil ?

[Karl Williams]

Set fire to his testicles and boil his head then sleep with his wife.

[Bill McMurtry]

Yep, that should do it Karl :lol1:

[LeeMorris]

Could try these listed on here the other day
http://www.thomashiggins.com/

Or What ever business he does call him and book an appointment then don’t show up.
Cheers
Lee

[Harry Cleary]

Write his first name and phone number and a loveheart on all the notes in your wallet and then spend them!! 😀 😀

[Ian Bingham]

if you have his mobile number, print some cards offering a service(you decide) and place in some darkly lit phone booths
wont get you any money but great revenge
Ian

[Karl Williams]

Or you could write his name and number in a love heart on a public toilet wall.

[Robert Lambie]

walk into his place of business. grab him, tie him "facing forward" to the front of his van. tie each arm back out towards each wing mirror and each leg out round each corner of his bumper.
now go tie a bit of "wire" around your own vans tow bar. walking back upto him with a menacing grin, unzip his trousers and (wearing gloves of course) tie the other end of wire around his "man-hood". 😕
now whisper in his ear, you didnt bring your van to me, so i guess ill just have to tow it round to my place to letter it.

as you get back into your van, call out… "oh and ive left the hand break on, in your van" 😉

[took that a bit far didnt i?] 😳

.

[Karl Williams]

You put a lot of thought into that Rob. I better become a paid up member soon.

[Phill Fenton]

quote Robert Lambie:

[took that a bit far didnt i?] 😳
.

Not at at all Rob – That’s precisely the sort of inspired punishment I was hoping for – Guy Fawkes had it easy :appl:

Joe – he’s a Plumber by the way 😮

Karl – Public Ridicule is good – maybe that mixed in with some pain would satisfy my desire for revenge 😕

[Karl Williams]

So he’s a plumber! Snap his stopcock. 😀

[Stephanie Peterson]

Or you could make a bunch of little decals with you strangling a plumber threatening him to pay you and then put them all over is place of business and his van. Maybe a couple on him as well.

Thus scaring him but not actually physically hurting him yet.

[Lee Ballard]

quote Phill:

Joe – he’s a Plumber by the way 😮

In that case, did you ever expect him to turn up when he was supposed to?????

[Karl Williams]

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

[Harry Cleary]

quote Lee Ballard:

quote Phill:

Joe – he’s a Plumber by the way 😮

In that case, did you ever expect him to turn up when he was supposed to?????

😀 😀 😀 😀

[Phill Fenton]

quote Lee Ballard:

quote Phill:

Joe – he’s a Plumber by the way 😮

In that case, did you ever expect him to turn up when he was supposed to?????

Of course – I get it now, it’s all my own fault for not making allowances for the fact he’s a plumber 🙄

Silly me 😳 😳

[John Gregson]

Cut his ballcock off, shove his pipe bender where the sun don’t shine, give him a good bleeding and pack him back off to hospital.

I’ve had this problem before but he was a male stripper 😳

[Karl Williams]

Back to reality though mate I really think you should go and see him first and lay down the law. You’ve spent the profits from your last job on his order.

[Simon.James]

Its clear by now he either doesnt give a damm or being a typical plumber he probably promises the earth and never delivers, as we all know they earn far to much money for to little work.

I would Personally send him everything that you have cut, with a bill if he doesn,t pay i would just forget about it. you need one or two customers like this now and again to help you appreciatte the good ones out there.

I done 25 vans for a courier company, which took us almost 12 months to finish, every time we went down there the van we wanted had just left the building.

Dont be so trusting next time, if he does come back make him sign off all orders preferably using his own arterial blood(nice dark colour)
lets all hope before long, that is stopcock rusts up.

[Joe McNamara]

a plumber……good.

stick an advert on gumtree in your area….plumber £12 per hour, no callout, parts at cost etc and his mobile number…..his phone will be off the hook

Then….. 👿 👿 👿
Put a couple of adverts in your local free ads paper.
Things like " 37" LCD tv for sale £180 – please ring after 11pm as I work nights" or "MGB GT, mot failure, needs welding, must go £220ono – please call between 6am – 6.30am as I start work at 7.

Then…… 👿 👿 👿 👿 👿 👿
Phantom book him – ring him (or get friends to do it so he won’t recognize your voice), and get him to come miles out of town to look at, and price up non existent jobs.

Note: All of the above have been told to me by customers, and they’ve done them!

But on a serious note there’s only one rule (and I have let this slide a bit myself) -50% deposit on everything – no exceptions, and I wonder if we can apply full invoice value to "no-shows"?
I know my dentist still charged me once when I forgot about an appointment and I had to pay it.
Cheers
Joe
🙄

[Roy Roffey]

quote Karl Williams:

Set fire to his testicles and boil his head then sleep with his wife.

thats a bit harsh !!!!!

😮

[Nicola McIntosh]

i like joes suggestions…..get him back the hard way, where it hurts most…his wallet :lol1: :lol1:

nik

[Bill McMurtry]

Invoice him now for the whole job including installation (payment due in 7 days) and inform him that he can call you and book in when he’s ready to have his van signed. No payment in 7 days… send him a payment overdue reminder, warning him that you’ll hand the matter over to the collection agency in 14 days (or whatever is the legal minimum period where you are) if payment is not received in full.

When he does finally book his van in (only after he’s paid up in full) inform him after you’ve had his van all day that you weren’t able to get to it as expected and would he please re-book for another day. When you do finally get around to it, do a fabulous job 😎

Failing that, I’d go with Rob’s suggestion 😮 :lol1:

[Shane Drew]

If he’s a well known tradesman, having a credit agent call him, or serve a summons for non payment of his account will do wonders.

Last thing they want is a bad name in town.

One of my customers put a sign on the back of his van ‘don’t deal with company X.. I did, and he ripped me off’

Company paid the bill next day….

Might work….

I had a bus booked before Xmas, the guy never showed, and the stuff is still sitting here, so I know what you mean.

Only difference with me, is I have the contract, and he has to come around eventually. That’s when I hit him for storage fees on the signage.

[Martin Cole]

Some good suggestions above, Joe’s being in particular.

But in the real light of day this guy has cost you money and it’s just not good enough.

These kind of things happen to us and a lot of the time we get irate and then let it go.

If this happened to me and it really got to me, I would call upon my brother and we would pay him a visit done it before and would do it again, no probs. I’m 6’5” and my brother is 6’7” with a very short fuse, so to speak.

Sounds menacing I know and would really not condone it, BUT sometimes it’s the only language these people understand.

This is how I look at it….Anyone who does this is preventing me from putting food on the table for my kids….and that makes me mad 👿

[Russell Spencer]

We used to have trouble with people parking and blocking our gate, despite huge signs.
What we had on stand by were vinyl letters pre-cut about 4" high saying ‘NO PARKING’, but the difference was, before they were weeded we ran them through the machine again but with a crosshatch pattern so it ran 150 vertical lines through it then 20-30 horizontal lines. It takes a bit of weeding but once they were stuck across the windscreen it would take someone about 2-3 hours to peel them off because it would come off in small bits.
If you can find his van I am sure you could think of a good message to put on it and if you crosshatch it first its going to take him a while to get it off.

[Warren Beard]

quote signsurfer:

We used to have trouble with people parking and blocking our gate, despite huge signs.
What we had on stand by were vinyl letters pre-cut about 4″ high saying ‘NO PARKING’, but the difference was, before they were weeded we ran them through the machine again but with a crosshatch pattern so it ran 150 vertical lines through it then 20-30 horizontal lines. It takes a bit of weeding but once they were stuck across the windscreen it would take someone about 2-3 hours to peel them off because it would come off in small bits.
If you can find his van I am sure you could think of a good message to put on it and if you crosshatch it first its going to take him a while to get it off.

A stanley blade would have it off in a few seconds, unless it is on the drivers side and it has to be off before he can drive 😮 not many people I know carry these with them :lol1: I would stick it across the bonnet saying something like "I’m a silly git and parked in a no parking zone, now look what happened" :lol1:

If you make the text in blocks then when weeding it should come off in one big webbed piece 😉

I used to have a fake parking ticked printed so when you walk up to the car you think "SH1T" I just got a ticket, then when you read it it tells you how much of a git you are and should be more considerate and blah blah blah you dumb twat " 😮 :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: Illigal parkers also annoy me 🙄

[Eddie Taylor]

50% deposit each and every time, with NO refund for a no show.
If they have money already invested in the work, they will show up, and if not, well you have at least the cost of your materials covered.

[Steve Underhill]

Find out what time he leaves for work each morning,
Then go buy a camping chair, put it in his garden and sit there with a baseball bat tapping it impatiently onto your hand.
When he comes out of his door, ask for your cash, if he declines ask him if he wants you to get your moneys worth out of his van, windscreen and lights, or him..

Alternatively he could pay you in cash there and then.

[Craig Bond]

Phil,

I have this thing called ‘The Sign of Shame’ I have put it to use a few times. Maybe you could re-invent it some what.

BASICALLY.. I do jobs for people and those that don’t pay within 90 days after all phone call reminders and letters and one 2 one chats (and that is being very generous) I put a sign up on the nearest lamp post (high enough to stop them taking it down) informing the public of their misdemeanors . It reads:

THIS IS THE SIGN OF SHAME

THIS PERSON (enter appropriate name)

TRADING AS ( enter appropriate name)

DOES NOT PAY THEIR BILLS

PLEASE THINK TWICE ABOUT SPENDING YOUR MONEY HERE

It seems to work, I am not telling any untruths so I have had no come back. I am sure you could use this method. If the bill is paid, then the sign comes down.

Don’t get me wrong, this is really the final resort, when I am really fucked off with the whole debt. I have only used this twice in the last 14 years

[Peter Normington]

I would just cut your losses Phill,

revenge is only sweet if the recipient knows you were responsible, but cant prove it,
hard to find a way, without putting yourself up for grief.

You could always try and come to a stop in front off his car, reverse into him, and claim you were stationery, he crashed into you and claim £500,00o for whiplash injuries….

Peter

[Phill Fenton]

To my surprise he phoned us today. Alison took the call (Which is probably just as well as she’s more diplomatic than me). He apologised for not turning up again and said he’d been back in hospital (I hope it’s nothing trivial 😕 ). Anyway he wanted to know when was the earliest we could do his van. Earliest we could manage was next Tuesday so it’s booked in for then.

I’ll report back again on Tuesday and let you know the outcome….. I ain’t holding my breath though. 🙄

[Lynn Normington]

Phill sometimes it’s true 🙄 hope it is this time

Lynn

[Nick Monir]

Glad to hear it Phill

:lol1: Just as well you gave it a bit of time before carrying out the evils deeds above :lol1: :lol1:

Hope he shows up!

[David-Foster-]

I think we should all turn up and form a guard of honour for him. 😀

[James Martin]

I’ll go round a and take it off for you after its been fitted make him come back again.

I always get a retainer before I cut a job or order anything in, is that not what everyone does?

[Phill Fenton]

Just another quick update in case anyone’s interested.

It was actually booked in for today Monday (not Tuesday as I said earlier).

About 9.30 this morning the van turned up but it was not the owner driving. The driver told me he had been asked to bring it along today because his mate had ****ed off (his words) back to Liverpool.

I told him to leave the van with us and we’d get it done this morning. I don’t have any means of transport back home just now (he said) so can we book it in for another day?

I told him this would be the 4th time and I was no longer prepared to set aside a morning or afternoon to do this on another day. I have other customers to consider. If he wanted it done I would do it today.

Well I don’t have any money to pay it today (he told me).

I explained that I had already sent a bill out for the work done so far (printing, laminating and contour cutting). I was still expecting payment for the work done so far and would not be doing anything else.

He then left with the van.

I really don’t understand what is going on. 🙄

[David Lowery]

quote Phill:

his mate had ****ed off (his words) back to Liverpool.

I really don’t understand what is going on. 🙄

Scouser, say no more :rofl:

[Shane Drew]

Obviously he doesn’t have the money mate…. probably will not see him again I’d say 👿

[DaneRead]

did you do the van yesterday??

What was the outcome??
I hope you didnt let him take it without getting paid.

[Phill Fenton]

I’m sorry if my explanation was unclear. The van turned up yesterday but it was not the owner driving it. The Driver explained he had no money to pay to get the work done and wanted to book it in another day. I refused, and the van was driven away unlettered.

I don’t understand why he brought the van around if he had no way of paying.

[Martin Cole]

quote Phill:

I don’t understand why he brought the van around if he had no way of paying.

Sounds like they have no intention of paying, time to write this one off and move on Phill

just see if he pays the invoice you have already sent him…could be a long wait by the sounds……but you never know 😕

[DaneRead]

sorry i saw that now. I thought you said that he left the van.

did you cut any vinyl for the vehicle??

The way i do it with new customers is they must bring the vehicle in and only when i have the vehicle i start cutting. I know it does take longer. But i feel that this is the only way to do things. Deposits never come out easily. So rather do the design only and cut when the car arrives.

The only advantage with our business is the actual material is not sooo expensive ,it is the labour charges that are more. So if you dont end up doing the vehicle then you havent lost as much.

We all end up learning costly lessons.

Its probably not worth you spending any more time chasing up. Because your time is more valuable doing something else. Rather take the loss and just see if the customer comes back.

[David Lowery]

Next time, take the keys and lock them up until they have paid 😕

[Phill Fenton]

I hear what you are saying.

Normally when doing a van I do not cut anything until the van turns up. In this instance though the design was a combination of cut vinyl lettering, and print and cut vinyl lettering. The print and cut had to be prepared before time to allow the prints to dry – before laminating and contour cutting. None of the cut vinyl lettering has been made up. I originally took a small deposit to cover some of my time producing preliminary artwork. He then asked me to develop the layout further to include lettering that had a dimensional look to it using print and cut.

When the van failed to appear on the second occasion – I sent him a bill for the time spent so far producing prints. This caused him to book the van back in again to see the work through to completion but as described above this failed to materialise.

If he calls again asking me to complete the work I will insist on an up front payment in full before agreeing to set aside any more time to do this work.

Having said that – I don’t expect to hear from him again. The lesson I have learned is to be more aggressive in getting payments up front when I have to do more than just produce a layout – not just accept a token payment.

[James Martin]

If its a new customer I always ask for half.

Just fitted a sign this morning for an existing customer and still got all the material costs up front.

[Robert Lambie]

you missed your chance mate… ide have dropped the lad off where he wanted dropped. went back, lettered the van and called the boss saying it is ready and the bill now needs settled before the van can be picked up. i would have left it parked inside your unit and the keys planked in the toilet cistern. (next to the heroin stash) 😉 :lol1:

even if he paid, just say you have left the keys lying about and he will need to find them, just like you had to track him down.
then you and Alison can sit having a cuppa tea while they walk about the unit looking for the keys. of course you both could help by shouting… "warm…. warmer… cold. getting colder… freezing cold now… oh your hopeless!" :lol1:

[Phill Fenton]

:lol1: :lol1:

Now you’ve gone and taken it too far again Rob :lol1:

[Shane Drew]

quote Robert Lambie:

of course you both could help by shouting… “warm…. warmer… cold. getting colder… freezing cold now… oh your hopeless!” :lol1:

:rofl: nutter!!

[Phill Fenton]

Good news 😀

He called by yesterday – paid me in full to get the work completed, and left the van with me yesterday afternoon. We fitted the signs this morning.

Happy days 😀 😀

[Lynn Normington]

nice it restores your faith a little bit 😀

Lynn

[Steve Underhill]

Great news Phil, I get annoyed by people like that, I still have £20 owing from someone who bought some placemats on the 28th of december who now wont pass the shop when she used to pass daily.
I also payment handed to me today for a sign containing 27 stainless letters, to be attached to our local Indian.
He’s been saying "Ill come and see you tomorrow" for about 6 months now.
Difference was in this case I was waiting for payment in full before I even emailed Brimark.
Which I will do tomorrow just as soon as find the piece of paper with a proof of which font he wanted the letters in 😳

Its nice to see people actually get rewarded finally for all the hard work they have done, lets hope he gives you more work now.

[Nick Monir]

Good stuff Phil!

[John Childs]

We had a no-show yesterday.

It transpires that the customer was on his way to us and was involved in an accident whereby somebody ran in the the back of him, doing a fair amount of damage to the rear doors. A phone call would have been nice, but I suppose he had other things on his mind and he was very apologetic when he rang this morning. Not a problem as we have plenty of other stuff to be doing.

Come to think of it, most of our customers are no-shows. On the odd occasion when we are given a delivery date for a batch of vans they never arrive on the right day. They are usually anything from a week early to a week late. There’s absolutely nothing we can do about it and just have to cope. That’s why we can’t plan anything and our job is mostly fire-fighting. It’s a good job we thrive on excitement. 😀