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sheila
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the
bathroom floor.Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did a split and
suctioned-cupped herself to the floor.She yelled out for her husband, “Bruce! Bruce!” Bruce came running in.
“Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor,” she said.“S’truth,” Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. “You’re stuck fast girl.
I’ll go across the road and get Cobber (his mate).”They came back and they both tried to pull her up. “No way, we can’t do
it,”
Cobber said, “so let’s try Plan B.” “Plan B,” exclaimed Bruce, “what’s
that?” “I’ll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tilesunder her,” replied Cobber.
“Spot on, “Bruce said, “while you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play
with her nipples. “Play with her nipples?” Cobber said, “not exactly a goodtime for that mate!”
“No,” Bruce replied, “but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can
slide
her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive” -
2 Replies
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:rofl:
i just emailed that to my missus sister whos over there on a gap year!!
NICE!
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One day on the psychiatric ward
A nurse walks into a patients room and sees him pretending he’s driving a car, with his hands at 10 and 2.
The nurse asks him: “Charlie – what are you doing?” Charlie replies: “Can’t talk right now, I’m driving to Melbourne!”
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie’s room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and she asks: “Well Charlie, how was your trip?” Charlie says: “I’m exhausted, I just got into Melbourne and I need some rest.” That’s great,” replied the nurse: “I’m glad you had a safe trip.”
The nurse leaves Charlie’s room, then goes across the hall into another patients room and finds Ed sitting on his bed masturbating vigorously. Startled but smiling, she asks: ‘Ed – what do you think you’re doing?” To which Ed replies: “Shhh, I’m having an affair with Charlie’s wife while he’s in Melbourne”.
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