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sex and shopping
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into
a state of turmoil, when it hears the words, “I do.”FOR EXAMPLE
one evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like
it…I just want you to hold me.”I said, “WHAT????!!! What was that?!” So she says the words that
every husband on the planet dreads to hear……”You’re just not in touch
with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Let’s get a pair for each outfit”. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.Let me tell you….. she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear,
let’s go to the cashier”.I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t
feel like it.”Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
“WHAT???!!!”
I then said, “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I
added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.
👿
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2 Replies
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LOL 🙂 It’s all in our jeans.
Luckily , since I became omnipotent , I dont have this problem.
I can’t get a gal stagnant if I tried. -
Tanahhhh Tanaaaahh
Right on the button I,ve gotta try this one .
Goop.
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