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Ran out of screws
All of us have been in this position
Ran out of screws and dived in the car to find a DIY store somewhere
Wind down the window to ask a local guy:
‘Xcuse me do ya know if there’s a B&Q in Wigan’Guys thinks a while
Then says slowly ‘W-I-G-A-N’
Naaa! There’s no B&Q in WiganJohn 😀
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16 Replies
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John you been opening the Christmas crackers a day early?
That was chronic 😀
Rod
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Sorry Rod It was bad
What about this one:
A lady had just moved into our area but was now moving AGAIN!
So I ask:“Why are you moving? You have arrived to this lovely neighborhood just a few weeks ago.”
“Yes, but I read in the local paper a bit of statistics that said, ‘most auto accidents happen within eight miles of your home’.”John
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There is a B&Q in Wigan John, its at the end of Wallgate near the train station 😀 No offense to any Wiganers here but Leigh is classed as part of Wigan 🙁 and when it reaches Xmas time we are all a bit flustered (must be Wigan Metros traffic planners again 😉 )
If you’re up this way though John, I can give you some screws, I have plenty loose 😉
Cheers, Dewi
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I could ne wrong but,
7` 1″ <—— The punchline of John`s Joke.
7` 0″
6` 11″
6` 10″
6` 9″
6` 8″
6` 7″
6` 6″
6` 5″
6` 4″
6` 3″
6` 2″
6` 1″
6` 0″ <—— An estimate of Dewi`s head height
5` 11″
5` 10″
5` 9″😀
Rod
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Ok John thats 2 howlers in a row.
3 strikes and youre out 🙂
Rod
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No more after this one I promise
Life insurance agent to would-be client: “Don’t let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.”
Definetly no more as there were only three crackers in the pack
John 😀
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6ft 1 1/4 ” in height but Rod, I am blonde. 😉 This could explain my dizzyness 😀
Cheers, Dewi
Edit: DO’H, No B and Q in W I G A N!!! I really am a dumb blonde!
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lol Dewi 🙂
Rod
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quote :Ok John thats 2 howlers in a row.3 strikes and youre out
Rod
howlers..? not heard that in ages.. gutting my self laughing here 😆 😆 😆
sorry if your irish, dont know this one any other way.. 😳
paddy and mick are in the bath. mick farted, paddy drowned himself trying to smell it.
ok, ill leave now shall i? 😆
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But he would have smelt it when the bubbles came up.
Wouldn’t he Dewi!!!!!!!!
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I’m just hoping Paddy and Mick don’t make a habit of bathing together! 😮
Reminds me of Paddy and Mick on a British airways flight to New York. Half way through the flight, the captain announces that one of the engines has stopped working, and they will be an hour late arriving in New York.
An hour passes, and the captain announces that engine two has caught fire, it has now been extinguished, but they will be 2 hours late arriving in New York.
Two hours pass by and the captain announces the third engine has mysteriously cut out, they will now be arriving in New York 4 hours after the scheduled landing time.
Paddy turns to Mick and says “I hope engine 4 doesn’t cut out, we’ll be up here all day!”
Cheers, Dewi
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Right,
It’s not often I post these days,…..
but if you lot dont give it a rest with the irish jokes I’ll have to come round after christmas and shove yer trees where the jokes don’t shine. 😮 …look out!
As for you lambie…you should know better than “the world champions”PS Mike ..you’ve had yer phone call – no reply yet?
What the fecks goin on.joe le pest
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😆 😆 😆 😆
sorry joe… ahem.. i kinda exspected some stick for that.. next will be eddie cotter.. 😮 your ganging up.. 😉hope you have a great christmas mate.. good to see you on the site again. 😀
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Looking at my early responses in this thread, maybe I should’ve replaced Paddy and Mick with Dewi 1 and Dewi 2 😳 😳 😳
Sorry Joe, no offense ment 😉 *points finger at Robert* He started it, honest he did!!! 🙄 🙄 🙄 😉
Cheers, Dewi
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Two drummers walk into a bar…
which is funny because you would have figured the second one would have seen the first guy do it. 😆I know what your thinking: ‘Get a life’
John
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two sumu wrestlers standing in a pub at the bar. one said to the other.
“your round”
the other said….
“so are you yah fat Bast**d”
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