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oldies but goodies…
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A little boy went up to his father and asked: “Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?”
The father replied. “Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine”
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A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the look of your wife at all,”
“Me neither doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.”
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
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Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?”
The agent replies, “Just a minute…”
“Thank you,” the blonde says, and hangs up.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed?” asked one detective.
“With a golf gun,” the other detective replied
“A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?”
“I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.”
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Moe: “My wife got me to believe in religion.”
Joe: “Really?”
Moe: “Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in hell.” -
8 Replies
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quote Shane Drew:—
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Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
—:rofl: that’s the best!
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quote :A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?”
The agent replies, “Just a minute…”
“Thank you,” the blonde says, and hangs up.Sorry Marcella, the blonde wins every time. :lol1: :lol1:
Lee
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[quote=”Lee Harris
Sorry Marcella, the blonde wins every time. :lol1: :lol1:Lee[/quote]
Story of my life Lee! 😕
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I’m not keen blondes. CJ – daughter – is a Red Head. Great colour. Looks just like yours 😉 😉
Lee
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Well done Shane
A good laugh :lol1: :lol1:
This happened for real when I was out with a friend in his car
A rat suddenly darted out in front of the car from what, it appears, was from nowhere
“Crying out!” He shouted in alarm
“Where the Hell did that come from?”
I said: “from it’s mother of course”
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quote Lee Harris:I’m not keen blondes. LeeAs quoted by Marcella and I have the same to say:
Story of my life!!
:lol1: :lol1: :lol1:
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My mate calls his wife Malteaser… dark on the outside, blonde on the inside! 😀
Shane, I gotta ask, not where you get all these jokes but where do you get the time to find them??? Over 1700 posts in just over a year, that’s over 4 posts a day! I must complain as I usually lose too much time at work from laughing! Please continue keeping us all amused during our working days (and nights), you’re a star.
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quote James Kelly:My mate calls his wife Malteaser… dark on the outside, blonde on the inside! 😀Shane, I gotta ask, not where you get all these jokes but where do you get the time to find them??? Over 1700 posts in just over a year, that’s over 4 posts a day! I must complain as I usually lose too much time at work from laughing! Please continue keeping us all amused during our working days (and nights), you’re a star.
Thanks James. Started to think that pehaps I may be posting too much humourous stuff actually. Don’t want to upset anyone
I like to have a laugh, got some clients that like to have a laugh too, so in all, rarely a day goes by without me getting or finding something humourous to post 😕
When I finish work at the factory, I still do about 4 hours at home, and I have uksb running in the background as I do, so always sticking my nose in from time to time. My working day is your sleeping time, so I can work all day knowing I am not missing much on the boards 😛
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