-
My tip for the day!
Don’t drink coffee using the same hand you have a scalpel in – I almost kebabbed my eyeball! Eyesight is crap at the best of times but I’m sure this wouldn’t have improved it.
Dawn
-
30 Replies
-
:lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: … sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh Dawn but…. :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:
-
You can’t talk burn 4rse!!!!!
-
Another ‘handy’ (bad pun) hint is to make sure that scalpels are not under that pile of weedings/backing paper you’ve just tried to sweep off the bench with your hand……
or…
DO actually use that safety ruler you bought as removing the tops of two fingers with a new blade is embarrassing at best
or…
doing your very own one handed ‘stigmata’ tribute is not worth the hassle as it involves picking up scalpels blade first & doing a little stumble type dance before checking all your veins & tendons in your hand are still intact.
or… I’m not tempting fate, I’m accident prone as it is. 😕
-
quote John Roddick:You can’t talk burn 4rse!!!!!ha-ha…..now that was funny :rofl:
nik
-
Right folks – entertain us all with your funny injury stories!
Dawn
-
quote John Roddick:You can’t talk burn 4rse!!!!!
*rofl* :rofl: … good one!
-
Funniest one I heard was when I worked for the Fire Brigade. A station had just taken delivery of a new thermal imaging camera and one of the guys decided to put a banana in the microwave and then put it down his trousers so that the office staff were impressed when they looked at him through the camera lens. Needless to say, the banana was still cooking when he put it down his trousers resulting in quite a bit of pain and some severe blistering!
Just remember folks, these are the guys we trust our lives with on a regular basis!
Dawn
-
I’m constantly reminded of a time when I was having smoko with my dad, and he asked me what time it was. Without thinking I checked my watch.
Trouble is, it was the hand holding my coffee.
Not only did I pour my hot coffee down my front, I stained my white shirt and beige trousers, and had to walk around all day explaining the unusual stain to everyone.
One day I don’t want to repeat anytime soon 😳
-
try wearing jeans and sitting on a wet surface on the job, you’ll be explaining all day long and they still only half believe you
-
I think Rob is the expert on DIY surgery :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:
-
well i put up a new shed yesterday, and have a hand full of splinters to prove it,
one i noticed this morning, was particularly deep in a crease on the underside of my little finger, so out comes a new scalpel blade, and away i go until the offending splinter is removed, and i’m left with a very pink little trench in my finger, a little sore, but none the less, no splinter or real discomfort, until i got fish n chips tonight, picked up the polystyrene container and poured vinegar over it, JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEzus did that sting !!
otherwise, night fishing once, went to look at my watch, couldnt see it, so lifted it higher to catch some light off the street way back, and stabbed myself in the forehead with a lit cigarette i was holding in the same hand !
also sat fishing again on night, cutting up some squid on a board on my lap, knocked something off the board and as i went to catch it, without thinking of course, i promptly stabbed myself in the leg (straight thru a brand new flotation suit) with a new fillet knife, nice 😀
too many to mention !
-
This new shed Hugh? Is this all part of your 10 year expansion plan?
-
LOL no, it was part of the original expansion plan ! i chucked all the bikes out under a tarp when i converted the workshop into it’s intended use, and the kids moan like hell cos the bikes are going rusty (like they get them out more than once every 3 months anyways !), so i finally got hold of another shed for the purpose,
unknown te the better half though, there’s a nice 4ft gap twen the two buildings now, which will soon have a back wall and roof of it’s own, then the poxy freezer i have in the workshop can go out there, more space for me !
-
Cut my own head off once with a chainsaw while trying to itch my nose. Does that count? :lol1:
-
quote Simon Kay:Cut my own head off once with a chainsaw while trying to itch my nose. Does that count? :lol1:
:lol1: :lol1: :lol1: could do…if you stitched it back on yourself 😉
nik
-
I once stepped back to check that the sign I had just fitted looked level – trouble was I was standing on a ladder at the time 😳
-
quote Simon Kay:Cut my own head off once with a chainsaw while trying to itch my nose. Does that count? :lol1:
well some of the hair is growing back SImon, so not all is lost hey !
have you ever seen a film called ‘the goonies’ simon ? there’s a character in that called ‘Sloth’, he had a similar hair do !
Attachments:
-
Bu99er !
You’ve found out my previous life that I was trying to hide.
I’ll have to contact my handler and get another new identity and try to melt into the community again.
What was it? The hair? The dentistry? Or just those godgiven good looks!!! :lol1: (?) :lol1:
-
it was the tattoo on your shoulder, it was the last thing i remember seing after your gang of high security bank robbers shot me in my last life, but i forgive you. no need to change !
-
I thought we’d agreed not to mention the bank job Hugh. (:)
-
oh, sorry, forget i ever mentioned it, what bank job ? who are you ?
-
I love the story (never let the truth ruin a good story!) of the woman who poured some petrol (hubby kept the lawn mower fuel in a bleach bottle)down the toilet, later hubby goes in to read the paper and have a (you’ve guessed it) a ciggie. Finished, he drops it in the bowl, whooosh! singed hair, and tender flesh.
The ambulance arrives and as they carry him out the path on a stretcher, he tells them what happened and they laugh that much they drop him off the stretcher……………breaking his arm and collar bone!!! :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:
-
Some years ago I erected an aerial on top of the control tower at Donington race circuit. When I had finished, without thinking, I took two steps back to admire my handiwork. What stopped me taking the third step I don’t know but if I had I would have fallen three floors to the concrete below.
It must have affected me psychologically because now, while not exactly scared of heights, I am very wary and probably over-cautious. We have ivy growing up the wall of our unit which needs trimming back two or three times a year to stop it getting underneath the roof and lifting it. I don’t do it anymore – I pay somebody braver.
-
My favourite story is the day my one time business partner ended up in A&E awaiting stitches to reconstruct his thumb! We had a Y.T.S. with us that week, I had of course explained and demonstrated how to safely cut Foamex board with a safety ruler and Stanley knife. I stressed the importance of being always aware that the knife if it were to slip would not bounce off of fingers, but slice through them easy as wink. Well I got the feeling that the young lad thought that I was over enforcing the point and felt that I was just a scaredy cat!… To my rescue comes my Business partner returning from a sales trip, he sees the lad gently waving the knife at the board and promptly exclaims… “Ere give that here I’ll show you how to do it!”…!!!!!
The passage of time doesn’t make it any less funny for me or with hindsight any less justified!
BE CAREFUL OUT THERE PEOPLE!
DAN TANNER
-
another that springs to mind… when i was about 18/19, i was a trainee sheet metal worker for a time, we used to have shed loads of 8×4 galv steel sheets in the factory unit, they were oiled to stop the rusting, and would often stick together, i once saw one of the guys try to pull one out, and promptly slide his hand along the side of it due to it being stuck…. i think he shouted ‘hucking nora’, or something like that, anyways, i had to drive him to the hopsital,
two weeks later, i wobbled the sheet to free it, pulled it out and stood it on end, the way to then carry it was to bow the centre away from you, and lift over your head, i duly bowed the sheet, and lifted it, unfortunately though, i hit the top edge on something and it slid thru my hands, narrowly missing my feet (my first concern), it took me a moment to notice the blood coming from my glove ! the edge had gone thru the glove and slice right thru my middle finger where it met the palm of my hand, after the initial bleeding stopped, i could see into my finger and watch the tendons move up n down alongside the bone, this almost made another guy feint ! anyways, i was then driven to hopsital, and the nurse (look up battle-axe in dictionary) said it was only a wee cut, and i’d only want a couple of stitches, cow didnt even give me a local, just drove the needle thru my skin, the pain was unreal, by the time i came round the scond stitch was done , "didnt feel a thing, did you?" she said ! 😳
-
Did you say ‘hucking Nora, too? 😀 😀 😀
-
dont think i said alot at all when that nasty nursy stabbed me with the needle, they’re like leatherworkers needles ! (hot)
-
Hugh, reminds me of an experience I had some years ago!
When I was about 18 or 19, I was on holidays with my sister and parents down in Victoria , and we were mucking about on some swings and slides, doing silly stuff, but having a lot af laughs.
Anyway, I slid down this slide, and hit the ground with a dreadful thud, and had this shooting pain up my rear end. I was in agony. I begged my parents to take me to hospital (I hate hospitals so dad realised I was serious).
Get to the hospital and the intern askes me to drop my duds so he can have a look.
Upon peering up my backside he say’s, all excited like ‘fantastic! this is the first real case of jeep bum I’ve seen since college!’
(yes jeep bum is a real condition, it is when the hairs on your rear turn inward and grow under your skin and eventually around your spine – common in the korean war because the seats on the jeeps would cause the condition to worsen)
This is so rare, he said, I’d like to get some nurses in here to see it before I lance it. Is that OK?
Do whatever I said, just FIX IT!
So, there I am, naked in all my glory, when the door to the surgery opens and all these 15 and 16 year old girls on work experience walk in, and surround me.
Then the mongrel intern, gets a double sided razor, no freeze spray, no injection to numb the area, and just slices the skin open to remove the puss.
Now, here I was, stark naked in front of 10 young girls, wanting to scream the house down, but trying to look manly as I did it. 😳
One youg girl just kept patting me on the head like a dog saying, there there Mr Drew, it will be OK soon. I think she would have made a good Vet!
The whole experince still makes my butt cheeks come together at the mere thought of it 😕
Only satisfaction I got was when I got back to my family doctors a week later, he had to repair the mess the intern had made, and he reported the idiot to the medical association.
I often wonder what those 10 girls actually thought of the experience.
-
Jeez Shane, thats one more thing for us hypocondriacs to worry about getting…..ouch! Wheres me hairbrush?
-
quote Harry Cleary:Jeez Shane, thats one more thing for us hypocondriacs to worry about getting…..ouch! Wheres me hairbrush?
:rofl:
Log in to reply.
