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Late one Saturday night….
Late one Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise…….
BUMP……..
BUMP……..
BUMP……..Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.
BUMP……..
BUMP……..
BUMP……..He froze to the spot, he couldn’t believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly….It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.
BUMP……..
BUMP……..
BUMP……..He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster………
BUMP……..BUMP……
BUMP……..BUMP……
BUMP……..BUMP……The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him……
BUMP……..BUMP…BUMP…
BUMP……..BUMP…BUMP…
BUMP……..BUMP…BUMP…He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .
BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…BUMP.
BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…..
BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…BUMP.Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase…..
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door……..
BUMP…SCREECH…HOP..BUMP…SCREECH…HOP…
BUMP…SCREECH…HOP…BUMP…SCREECH…HOP…
BUMP…SCREECH…HOP…BUMP…SCREECH…HOP…The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges…..The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP.SCREECH…
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet…… He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin…….still it came .
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…
He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it . Still it came……
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP.SCREECH…
He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ……still it came……
BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…
In a final, desperate act born of total and utter terror, he grabbed some cough mixture and threw it –
And at last the coffin stopped…. -
11 Replies
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:lol1: :lol1: :lol1: Took a second read through to get it, i’m slow today – out last night.
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it is quicker to ‘get’ if you read it out loud. :lol1: :lol1:
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:lol1:
Thanks Shane, I have to clean the soda off my monitor now. :lol1:
-Marek -
i read it earlier on today….and just re-read it now…i still dont get it 😮
must be thick nik tonight 😕
nik
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nick, just for you, read coughing for coffin.
Shane mate, this one is so old and corney even I cant remember it!
Peter -
quote Peter Normington:nick, just for you, read coughing for coffin.
Shane mate, this one is so old and corney even I cant remember it!
Peter:lol1: :lol1: :lol1: got it now thanks peter…………. 😳
thik nik right enough 😕 😉nik
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…. Oh Nik……….! 😮 you’re getting worse….. is it dementia?
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quote Marcella:…. Oh Nik……….! 😮 you’re getting worse….. is it dementia?
no ive just been to see chicken little……….. 😮
well thats my excuse, lucy laughed her head off…i fell asleep 😕 😉nik (mind you it could be the vino) 😉
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quote Peter Normington:nick, just for you, read coughing for coffin.
Shane mate, this one is so old and corney even I cant remember it!
Peter:lol1: you are right Pete, but I thought the ‘whipper snippers’ on the site may not have heard it.
Saw chicken little the other night too nik, my ears are still ringing from my kids laughing. wasn’t what I expected tho. but then if you nodded off, you probably didn’t see much of it anyway:P
sorry about the soda marek :lol1:
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Good one Shaney.
It’s the highlight of my week reading all your great (?) jokes at the weekend.
Keep ’em coming.
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quote Andy Gorman:Good one Shaney.
It’s the highlight of my week reading all your great (?) jokes at the weekend.
Keep ’em coming.
Thanks Andy, I appreciate your comment
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