-
It’s a CRACKER
yes a Christmas Cracker.
I know i should get out more but here is a selection of the best (or maybe worse Chritmas Cracker jokes we pulled today )
Why are dogs like Trees?
They both have barks.What is black and White all over?
A sunburnt Pengguin.and my fravorite
How do you keep a Skunk from smelling?
Hold it’s Nose.Couldn’t resist them sorry 😆
Oh and one more
What is as big as an elephant and weighs nothing at all?
An Elephants Shadow. -
6 Replies
-
Saw this one earlier:
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”
“The guy was your doctor…” -
Okidoki, I’m going for the sadest act of the year here as I saved every single joke from the crackers, just to post here 🙄 😉
What is furry and smells of mint?
A Polo BearDid you hear about the paper shop?
It blew away.How do you make gold soup?
Put 14 carrots in.What did one angel say to another?
Halo there.What did the blankey say to the bed?
I’ve got you covered.How did the snowman feel when he had a bad cold?
AbominableWhen can’t you open a locked piano lid?
When the keys are on the inside.Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a bell.
Take these, and if it doesn’t work, give me a ring.What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.What kind of bow is never tied?
A rainbow.Where can you find a salad in a clothing shop?
In the dressing room.Why are banana’s never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.What do bad comedians eat for breakfast?
Corny Flakes.Merry Christmas you guys, hope you all got your Christmas wishes!! 😀
Cheers, Dewi
(xmas)
-
Worst one of the day for us:
Q:What’s the difference between an elephant and a post box?
A:I won’t send you to post a letter then.
Sorry
-
Thought you’d be the first to reply John 😉
Some ood graoners there too lads (<(
-
ok… im sadder as these arent from a cracker but some of my own.. 😮 😆
A guys in bed at hospital..
The doctor comes up and says..
“I have good news and bad news regaring your leg amputation”
the bad news is
“we have cut the wrong leg off!”
the good news is
“the other one is getting better”whats balck and white & eats like a horse?
A zebra!Whats black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.Guys in bed at hospital & the doctor comes up.. he says.
“i have good news and bad news”
the bad news is…
“we have to cut both your legs off”
the good news is..
“the guy in the next bed wants to buy your slippers!”how do you know there are four elephants in your house?
The mini is parked outside!Bill and ben the flower pot men are in the bath.
Bill farted,
ben said “10 past 3”how do you know there is an elephant under your bed?
Your nose is touching the ceiling…How do you know there has been an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter…How do you hide an elephant up a cherry tree?
Paint it testicles red..How do you hide an elepant in a smarty tube..
Paint its toenails different colours..Whats the loudest noise in the jungle?
A giraffe eating cherries… (think about it) 😕4 sliced sausages are sitting up a tree playing cards.
A fried egg goes by on a mountain bike,
One sausage shouts “hoy egg, wanna game of cards mate?”
The egg replies…
“ide love to guys, but im gonna get my hair cut”ok ok.. i know… im going, im going!
-
Crumbs!
Rob’s on a roll here 😀John
Log in to reply.
