• How to Shower …

    Posted by Peter Shaw on January 13, 2006 at 4:09 pm

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 Added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.

    Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    How To Shower Like a Man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Wee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and Make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.

    Shane Drew replied 18 years, 3 months ago 6 Members · 6 Replies
  • 6 Replies
  • Jayne Marsh

    Member
    January 13, 2006 at 4:16 pm

    That is sooooo funny and sooooo true :lol1:

  • Nigel Pugh

    Member
    January 13, 2006 at 4:19 pm

    woo woo 😛

  • David-Foster-

    Member
    January 13, 2006 at 5:01 pm

    :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:

  • Nicola McIntosh

    Member
    January 13, 2006 at 5:03 pm

    thats funny :lol1:

    nik

  • Marcella Ross

    Member
    January 14, 2006 at 11:48 am
    quote Nigel Pugh – Grafityp:

    woo woo 😛

    But did you do the action that goes with the ‘woo woo’?

  • Shane Drew

    Member
    January 14, 2006 at 12:01 pm
    quote Marcella:

    quote Nigel Pugh – Grafityp:

    woo woo 😛

    But did you do the action that goes with the ‘woo woo’?

    you can’t do the ‘woo woo’ without the action Marcella…. It is a bloke thing… from birth.

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