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Darwin Aewards
My sister sent these to me and I found it quite amusing so thought I might share.
DARWIN AWARDS 2005 –
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked…..And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost
a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered
for 3 days.5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see
how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total
amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. (If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he’d just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and
the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then
taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To
which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the
purse from.”9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the
motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had. -
1 Reply
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:lol1: :lol1: :lol1:
Luv the mental patients one :lol1:
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