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25 reasons why I owe my mum
I owe my mum because….
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4.My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
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14 Replies
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Brilliant!
Reminds me of things that were said to me as a child“You’ve got a mouth like the mersey tunnel”
“switch off the lights, it’s like Blackpool illuminations in here”and one similar to yours above,
“if you break your legs doing that, don’t come running to me”
also
” I’ll knock you into the middle of next week”Aaah childhood was so good 😉
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Ive just thought of another one or two :lol1:
“if you pull a face like that, the wind will change and you’ll stick like that”
” eat all your crusts and your hair will go curly” ( strange but true as my hair has gone really curly 😮 )
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😛 Brilliant Shane, like Jayne they all ring true from childhood.
Oh Jayne I still eat my crusts but still waiting for the curls to appear :lol1:
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My dad used to say to me “come here so I can belt you!”
or when I was being disciplined “this hurts me more than it hurts you”
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Aaaw bless you Nigel :lol1:
Im sure you would have had a full head of curls if only they’d hung round long enough for you to find out :lol1: -
Nice one Shane, had me laughing away :lol1:
Dave
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brilliant, many of those i relate to too !
i can also sympathise with ya on the belt thing shane, damn that hurt, when dad said we wouldnt sit down for a week he wasnt too far wrong !! i can hear it now, the pillow case ripping…….. the pillow flying thru the window pane….. the tinkle of glass on the path outside…… the thunder of footsteps up the stairs….the “you’re for it now boys”…. and the belt buckle being undone 😮 , that that point all thre of us would leg it to the other room and protest innocence, and yes, no-one owned up so we all got a sore backside (hot) (hot) (hot) !!
bugger me if we didnt to the exact same thing, to the same (new) piece of glass just a week later, 😮
whilst i think at the time i was none too keen on it, i look back on it now and find it funny at how often we made dad angry and make him run up those stairs to tell us off !! the belt wasn’t that frequent, and to be honest, it stang less than his hand on yer backside,
result ? one very well rounded individual 😀 and one still guilty feeling dad 🙁 !! comes in handy when i need to borrow a car ! 😉
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:lol1:
Hugh, my dad was pretty hard on me because I was his only son. His own dad was always drunk, and was never there when he needed him as a son sometimes needs his dad. He reasoned that I had to grow up and be a good example to my own kids when I had them, so I was in need of discipline alot to be a good husband and father. My sister got away with murder (she is really smart) but I always got lumbered. Even when I argued I was inocent, dad used to tell me “it makes up for the times I didn’t discipline you when you needed it” I could never win. I was always getting a lecture for something. In truth I was a fiddler and was always getting in the way, or breaking things.
I grew up with a lot of repsect for my parents tho, and my dad is my best mate now. We have worked together for 30 years this coming October.
Only difference is that I now give HIM the lectures. He’s nearly 70, but keeps doing stuff a 50 year old would find hard. He got on the roof of my shed the other day and couldn’t get down because since his stroke, he has very poor balance. Got a big lecture from me, then mum, then my sister, then my wife….. reckons it was a deja vu moment, but in reverse!
I think I grew up OK. Discipline never hurt me.
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i cant say my dad was drunk or owt, tho i guess on occasion it may have been the case, ie when he came back from the pub at 11pm and we were all still twatting about, winding up poor ol mum !
like you though, i grew up with a lot of respect for my parents, and i also consider my dad my best frind ! funny eh !
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i thought about this thread earlier,
i went into the garden where the kids were, and my lil girl hooked out a large clump of floating plants from the pond with some cane, “oh thats really clever” said I, sarcastically,
ten minutes later, she showed me what she’d made from some scraps of vinyl i’d ‘lost’ ! “oh thats really clever ” said I, sincerely,
no wonder kids these days dont know right from wrong if we praise them either way !!
on another silly, but true note, i had to laugh when my daughter asked why one of our angels (tropi fish) had only one eye, having been asked this question 50 times before, i said maybe it’d had a car crash, thats why you always have to wear seatbelts, she thought about it, and my youngest boy piped up “it wasn’t a car dad, he crashed his tank” !!!
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quote Nigel Pugh:😛 Brilliant Shane, like Jayne they all ring true from childhood.Oh Jayne I still eat my crusts but still waiting for the curls to appear :lol1:
Me to!!!
Somewhere along the lines that the burnt toast would do that for me.
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Great stuff Shane
When were little, mum always use to say ‘eat up all that food! Just think of the starving kids in Africa’
So even though we couldn’t eat anymore (especially sprouts and cabbage)and we were at the ‘busting’ point we stuffed it all down our throats. Meal times seemed like an eternity.
Quite how that help the kids in Africa I’ll never know 😕
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quote John Singh:Great stuff Shane
When were little, mum always use to say ‘eat up all that food! Just think of the starving kids in Africa’
So even though we couldn’t eat anymore (especially sprouts and cabbage)and we were at the ‘busting’ point we stuffed it all down our throats. Meal times seemed like an eternity.
Quite how that help the kids in Africa I’ll never know 😕
😛
You know John, since I found this on the net a while back, I sent it out to my newsletter subscribers some time back, and although I didn’t keep actual figures, I’d reckon of all the people that sent me a little note about reminding them of their childhood, a good 90% recounted “mum always use to say ‘eat up all that food! Just think of the starving kids in Africa’
You’ve just said the same thing 😮 I reckon that is amazing. I thought only my mum said that… of course the other explanation is that we are related…. 😮
regards… er… cuzin shane
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Times have changed though
I once (and once only) said it to my grandaughter when we were all around the table for a family mealMy wife and daughter both had puzzling looks on their faces
😕
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