And the Customer of the Year Award goes to…

[Kevin Flowers]

Did some urgent work for a large chain store (Debenhams) to be told when it came to paying i would have to fill out a form to become an authorised supplier and their terms where 90 days from invoicing. Needless to say after a few choice words to them i was paid in 30 days & I turned down the offer of being a supplier, they was most indignant that i didn’t want to do their work because of who they where etc

Kev

[Miroslav Penev]

Hello, I want to nominate one of our clients, who finally paid his duty after several years…..with a minivan iveco daily………….no comment! And it’s getting harder and harder…

[David Hammond]

For the first time in my 5 years, and my dads 40+, we’ve refunded a customer and cancelled the order.

Everything we did wasn’t right, arrogant and generally trying to intimidate us.

Having deadlines dictated to us like we had nothing else to do, drop everything for their one small job, which in all honesty wasnt time critical.

Complaining about paying up front for a £70 job.

Complaining because they didn’t receive the proof we sent via email,

Demanding it be resent in 2 minutes,

Complaining because we didn’t give them a completion date once the artwork was approved. Just confirmed they were going into production and we’d send an email as soon as they were done.

And 75% of that happened within 30mins.

We polietly asked if they’re so unhappy would they like to cancel the order without penalty and get a full refund, and they can go to their previous supplier. Thankfully they did.

I think he was quite surprised when we pulled the plug. Onwards and upwards.

[Denise Goodfellow]

We had one last week who wanted a run of their record sheets, but wanted it next day because they had run out.
After excepting that turn around was 5 working days she rang every day, until,the fifth day when she rang 5 tines before we even opened.

She complained about the terrible service because we didn’t do a next day service.

The next day she placed a repeat order

[James Phillips]

I have one who always wants everything yesterday but when i need to search for emails from him i just out "cashflow issues" in and it brings up all his emails :shake:

[Ewan Chrystal]

I have one just now who is the most arrogant Muppet I think I’ve had the displeasure of dealing with. I haven’t spoken to a single person who has a good thing to say about this guy. He’s bringing his van in tomorrow to get done. I am fully prepared to tell him where to go if he starts moaning tomorrow.

[John Wilson]

I’ve gotten that fed up with customers that I’ve decided to stop trading

[Derek Heron]

quote John Wilson:

I’ve gotten that fed up with customers that I’ve decided to stop trading

know just how you feel john :bangshead: :bangshead: :bangshead: :bangshead: :bangshead: :bangshead: :bangshead: :bangshead: :bangshead: :bangshead:

[Phill Fenton]

quote John Wilson:

I’ve gotten that fed up with customers that I’ve decided to stop trading

That’ll teach them :awkward:

[Cheryl Smith]

quote Phill Fenton:

quote John Wilson:

I’ve gotten that fed up with customers that I’ve decided to stop trading

That’ll teach them :awkward:

Lol…Phil

So John, you are throwing in the towel because of customers?
have you decided whats next?…im interested…
Cheryl

[David Hammond]

Install the a job today, send the invoice.

Customer decides VAT is optional. It’s us who have to explain it to the VAT inspector. :rollseyes:

[Phill Fenton]

Hope you told him that you would have to remove a couple of letters if the Vat wasn’t paid

[Denise Goodfellow]

Yes it amazes me how the customers still complain about vat and ask to remove vat and hand you a credit card for the Pdq machine.

Or the customer who said they’ll pay cash and doesn’t want an invoice, but when he pays wants a receipt to put in his books….

Or the customer who moans about the huge £50 bill, but then pulls out £1000 bungle.

Or the custome who approves artwork, then says they don’t like it when the jobs finished.

Or the customer who wants a silver boarder, forgets to say The graphic is going on a silver car

Or the customer who just wants some text 4 inch high but can’t grasp it when you say it’s 10ft long, as he only has a space of 12 inch.

Or the customer who rings Monday and asks if he can have a job completed by Friday, but then doesn’t give you the info until mid Thursday.

all the above last week

[David Hammond]

Or plasters photos of their new sign all over social media, tags you in it, we do a bit of social media tagging them, and then wants you to pretend we didn’t do the job? :rollseyes:

[Phill Fenton]

Just received an email this morning cancelling a part wrap on a van that was booked in for today asking me to reschedule. I had previously explained that I needed to set aside the best part of a day to do this work so needed to know for sure when it was coming to avoid making any other commitments.. :shake:

[Colin Crabb]

Or the customer confused why we’ll not sign write his van on a Sunday.. as its the only days its free as he doesn’t work Sundays.

[David Mitchell]

Double Bubble Colin, 😉 I often do trucks through the night so they don’t miss a day’s work, guys are delighted with the arrangement and it’s very worthwhile ££

[Colin Crabb]

Oh yes, we do the premium Saturday fits… but this cheap ass customer didn’t like the 40% premium & wanted a Sunday!

[Martin Pearson]

Just do it on the Sunday instead then Colin but don’t forget to add the 300% Sunday premium 😆 😆

[Mohammad Esa]

Hi guys,
I had this customer approve artwork for a sign for his barber shop. After his approval we scheduled to do the fitting 2 days later. Calls me the morning of the fitting, that he has a problem with the art work and his not willing to let us fit the sign unless we fix the artwork for him. Explained to him that it’s now to late for any changes and IF IF he needs any changing that he will have to make a new order and we would charge him again for both orders. Starts complaining that our service is rubbish and that the sign maker close to him offers better service and only came to me because of his friends recommendation. I closed the phone down and went straight to his shop with the sign, I said your order is completed please make full payment. Then he starts saying oh how amazing our service is and that he appreciates our work, I said I haven’t forgot what you said on the phone. He then says "what phone? I haven’t said anything on the phone nor have I called you". I said it must have been the ghost [emoji23]

[Denise Goodfellow]

Yesterdays customer.
He had rang previous and enquired about embroidery. He normally brings 1 garment in to have his sunbed logo put on, it’s not complicated and only takes 10 mins to do and we charge him £6.
He says he has 10 items and wants a reduced price as he can save £15 by having it done where he gets the tunics from.

Reduce the price abit, and he brings in 5 items saying he’ll bring in the other 5 when he gets them.

Then asks will they be done the next day, and reels back in amazement when I say I very much doubt it for that price. And then try’s to pin me down on a time.

So I’ve accidentally forgotten where I’ve put them, I’ll proberly find them middle of next week….. All to save a few pound.

On the other hand a customer rang at 5pm just as we were closing asking if we had an aboard in stock, as his wife was doing a wedding fair and was desperate for one for the next day. We looked and we did have one. I explained were were 1 minute from closing, he said he would give us £50 over the price, we were happy to help as he was really appreciative. He collected 10 mins later as it was only simple text on it, he was so great full he brought in a box of chocolates for us, he committed on a banner we have in the showroom, it was a SALE banner what we print on the empty space left when printing 2ft wide banners on a 1370 roll. We just gave him one, it saved him £25 and he was over the moon.

What customers don’t realise, treat us well and we will treat you well, pull out the stops etc. He went away and we thought what a nice chap and hopefully he thought good about us.

[Hugh Potter]

quote Denise Goodfellow:

Yesterdays customer.
He had rang previous and enquired about embroidery. He normally brings 1 garment in to have his sunbed logo put on, it’s not complicated and only takes 10 mins to do and we charge him £6.
He says he has 10 items and wants a reduced price as he can save £15 by having it done where he gets the tunics from.

Reduce the price abit, and he brings in 5 items saying he’ll bring in the other 5 when he gets them.

Then asks will they be done the next day, and reels back in amazement when I say I very much doubt it for that price. And then try’s to pin me down on a time.

So I’ve accidentally forgotten where I’ve put them, I’ll proberly find them middle of next week….. All to save a few pound.

On the other hand a customer rang at 5pm just as we were closing asking if we had an aboard in stock, as his wife was doing a wedding fair and was desperate for one for the next day. We looked and we did have one. I explained were were 1 minute from closing, he said he would give us £50 over the price, we were happy to help as he was really appreciative. He collected 10 mins later as it was only simple text on it, he was so great full he brought in a box of chocolates for us, he committed on a banner we have in the showroom, it was a SALE banner what we print on the empty space left when printing 2ft wide banners on a 1370 roll. We just gave him one, it saved him £25 and he was over the moon.

What customers don’t realise, treat us well and we will treat you well, pull out the stops etc. He went away and we thought what a nice chap and hopefully he thought good about us.

I’m a big believer in "what goes around, comes around", doesn’t always work that way but it’s a nice feeling when it does!

[Martin Lemiesz]

Ok – I’m going to win this 😉

We try to stay clear from supplying materials to be fitted by others but this time the client begged us to supply him printed vinyls for vivaro and movano full wraps which apparently someone failed to supply on time. The client rich dad funding a ‘toy’ wrapping business (essentially wrapping he’s friends astons and similar – pure colour changes). Ok we have submitted a quote for 3M and lesser spec option with a proviso that it would be better to go for 3M due to better conformability (think I got it right?). Client argues the VAT and questions our terms and conditions – one of them being that we do not take responsibility for wraps failure if not installed correctly – we refuse to go ahead at which point he agrees to pay VAT like everyone else but he now wants us to help his son to fit the graphics (by this point we all know how wonderful he is with he’s wrapping from his dad). We have queried the scenario he suddenly put’s us in but we agreed on an hourly rate and stipulated that we help him to start only and leave it in his capable hands afterward – we also reconfirmed that we do not take any responsibility for the installation process (we have that confirmed by him on email luckily) When we arrived on site we immediately noticed that the van’s carry signs of bodywork repairs, both are covered in white haze and greasy patches. It turns out that they have used hexis 3 stage cleaning process but messed up the order which the liquids should be used presumably – we have instructed them to wash the vans and clean with isopropanol until they are squeaky clean – apparently they have done this but called us to say our vinyls don’t stick – we rush over to their improvised wrapping bay and discover that the haze is still there – as a gesture of good will we reprint one of the wrap tiles and tell them to clean again and start over. Two months later all the vinyls start to fall off…surprise you would think? Well not really – they want us to lie to their client and blame the bodywork – we refuse – they beg for reprints – we supply again as a gesture of good will agreeing areas to be replaced – client receives the vinyls and couple hours later barges into my office and calls me unprofessional liar for supplying them to small – it turns out that they have stripped more than what was agreed to be replaced – at this stage I ask the client to leave our building and calm down. He comes back to argue more after few hours – he gets escorted to the door – he then uses someone’s phone to call me and apologize offering me money for reprints -I refuse. The saga continues – he writes emails – he’s son writes more email – I refuse to work with them again explaining that our style of sorting issues out doesn’t match. Today almost 1 month later my favorite ex-client lets himself in through the shutter door and throws a thick envelope at me shouting I will see you in court #palmface – he demands 4k and documents he’s story using screen shots of txt messages apparently proving that we never dried the prints properly…if you wondering yes we did…anyone can top this?
On top of this we had another interesting complaint from a client who ordered 4x circular car park foamex signs (140mm) claiming that the logo is off center by 2mm and print is simply fuzzy – word fail me after today…

[Denise Goodfellow]

Customer requests a Union Jack on her Mini Cooper. Only problem they can only bring the car in on Saturday. We ask the fitter if he wants a bit of over time, he says yes.
We relay to the customer that he they must be there at 9am as he has a wedding to go to later.
Fitter waits for 55 minutes for the customer to arrive, they have both the shop number and my mobile, no phone calls to say we are running late. He rings me and I say go home. 15 mins later they turn up and ring shouting where are you.

Fitters gone home because you were nearly 1hr late.

They start shouting about bad service…… Great start to the day.

[David Hammond]

Give an inch, they’ll take a mile.

We had an atrocious August sales wise, I may as well have shut up shop and joined everyone else on holiday.

Anyhow, we’ve a van booked in, and got the typical I can only do evenings/weekends. I’ve successfully swerved the weekends and agreed that an evening install will be fine, get to us for 4:30-5:00 (we close at 4).

Was booked in for yesterday evening, I rang as time got closer, to get told he’s stuck in traffic, and he’s not sure how long he’ll be, can we re-arrange for today. Fine.

Here I am sat at work, with no sign of the customer, no call, nothing. We’re also in the midst of expanding so in the mayhem, I forgot to take the deposit. :bangshead:

Lesson learnt. I’m packing up and heading home when I’ve done a few little bits, and when they call wanting to re-arrange it’s office hours only, and I’d like paying now.

I’m partly to blame, but always amuses me when customers query why they need to pay upfront :rollseyes:

[Kevin Mahoney]

What happens when you turn up at the doctors or dentists office an hour late? You get sent away, possibly with a bill for a missed appointment or told you have to wait all day to see if a slot becomes available. It really grates on me when the "bad service" card gets pulled out of the bag. A few customers of ours genuinely think we sit by the phone all day just in case they need signs at some point. I’ve taken to phoning an hour before to see if it’s still happening but feel it appears a bit desperate, which it most certainly isn’t. I dread to think of the clients reaction if I began producing the graphics upon their arrival. The trouble is, they don’t see the prep work we have to do days before they arrive. If they did, the advance payment wouldn’t be met with such mistrust.

[David Hammond]

We set up a text local account. Mainly because we had an influx of people wanting us to text things to them rather than e-mail. Last thing I wanted was some randomer ringing me on my mobile, mithering about a £10 correx sign, whilst out for a meal with the Mrs. 😆

I think we’ll start sending text reminders 24hours before. These can be scheduled in advance too.

[Chris Wilson]

I had the opposite problem yesterday. Was to busy for appointments so told folks I couldn’t do today and would have to be later in the week. They came in anyway. I don’t think we can win either way.

[Kevin Mahoney]

Yeah, we get that a lot too. The job they have in mind is top of the list for them & they assume it’s a priority for you as well. Short memories when you work magic for them. Got one on the go at quote stage at the minute for a firm of solicitors, revised quote 10 times over 5 days. They had a deadline for work to be completed & have just asked if the deadline is still possible. Is it illegal to say xxxx off?

[Phil Davies]

quote Kevin Mahoney:

Yeah, we get that a lot too. The job they have in mind is top of the list for them & they assume it’s a priority for you as well. Short memories when you work magic for them. Got one on the go at quote stage at the minute for a firm of solicitors, revised quote 10 times over 5 days. They had a deadline for work to be completed & have just asked if the deadline is still possible. Is it illegal to say xxxx off?

Add a twat tax 😀

[Denise Goodfellow]

With reference to deadlines…

How oftern do you give a random quote and then get asked when can you fit? And you haven’t even done any artwork yet…

I read recently that when a customer requires a deadline, but then asks for amended artwork or adds to the list… If we don’t respond with a deadline for them to give us the information or approve artwork by, then perhaps we are to blame.

I tried it this week after a customer wanted a sign fitting early next week. He sent over the info and his logo. I laid it out on the sized panel and emailed it over. He questioned colours and a few other petty things, which throw up a flag to me.

So I linked in a colour swatch of the vinyl told him these were the colours available and said I needed all the info outlined within 2 hrs if I was expected to meet his deadline.

He rung up and said he wanted to meet his Parnter in 2 days time to discus colours, I said I can’t make your deadline then. 1 hr later I had all the info I needed, the artwork was returned to him for final approval and I got an email within 2 minutes, saying all approved.

I’ll certainly be using this in the future.

[Denise Goodfellow]

Had a loverly young lady in today, wanted a cheap little banner for her flower shop. Wanted it late today for a sale they were having tomorrow, she didn’t want to see any artwork, just wanted the shops name and a bunch of flowers……

Rings her up 2 hrs later saying it’s done, proudly unrolls it and straight away I spot Fower Ship, instead of Flower Shop…. I nearly cried.

But she was loverly and told me not to worry, she could have easily torn a strip off me, but she didn’t.

So There are some nice people out there.

[David Hammond]

Thought I’d get a late entry in, before it’s too late.

Sent this proof for some bollard sleeves to the customer – "They’re great! Go ahead" :thumbsup:

Produce the job, customer collects them, and then we receive the phone call. "Ere mate, the text’s the wrong way on these signs, you gotta turn your head to read ’em, why would you do that?" 😆

But that’s what you approved on the proof! "eh yeah, I know but… but… but…"

---

Attachments:

[NeilRoss]

A few years ago a guy came in looking for two HONDA decals to go on each side of the fuel tank on a Honda trike he’d been doing up. Came back in to collect and take them away. Later in the day he called in to say one of them was cut wrong when he put them on – could I make another one for him. "On one side, the H is next to the handle bars but on the other side the A is next to the handle bars".

Well …. yes … ?
To be fair I think he must have been illiterate and was going by shapes instead of reading left – right.

[Kevin Mahoney]

quote NeilRoss:

A few years ago a guy came in looking for two HONDA decals to go on each side of the fuel tank on a Honda trike he’d been doing up. Came back in to collect and take them away. Later in the day he called in to say one of them was cut wrong when he put them on – could I make another one for him. “On one side, the H is next to the handle bars but on the other side the A is next to the handle bars”.

Well …. yes … ?
To be fair I think he must have been illiterate and was going by shapes instead of reading left – right.

Wow. I was one line into this post & was betting it was the wing that he wanted reversed. The text? I despair for some people. Reminds me of a time when I was sent flattened artwork by a design agency for a double sided pavement sign with an arrow pointing left. They sent one side & asked me to print 2 identical graphics. I asked if their client had a shop on both sides of the road & they thought I was stupid!
Took 3 goes to explain that identical prints would face opposite directions.
Still, the composition & artistic balance was sublime (still wrong though)

[Phill Fenton]

quote NeilRoss:

A few years ago a guy came in looking for two HONDA decals to go on each side of the fuel tank on a Honda trike he’d been doing up. Came back in to collect and take them away. Later in the day he called in to say one of them was cut wrong when he put them on – could I make another one for him. “On one side, the H is next to the handle bars but on the other side the A is next to the handle bars”.

Well …. yes … ?
To be fair I think he must have been illiterate and was going by shapes instead of reading left – right.

Same thing happened to me a few years ago when a customer wanted some lettering on the side of his car but he wanted the letters to follow the body swage of the vehicle. It was to have a large H at the back with the O N D and A all following but gradually getting smaller as it ran towards the front of the car. I asked him how he wanted me to do the passenger side and he said "exactly the same". So I said "large A at the back with the D N O and H gradually getting smaller towards the front"?

No, No he says- "Large H at the back, followed by O N D and A gradually getting smaller". It took ages for me to convince the bugger that this wouldn’t work :rollseyes:

quote Kevin Mahoney:

I despair for some people. Reminds me of a time when I was sent flattened artwork by a design agency for a double sided pavement sign with an arrow pointing left. They sent one side & asked me to print 2 identical graphics. I asked if their client had a shop on both sides of the road & they thought I was stupid!
Took 3 goes to explain that identical prints would face opposite directions.
Still, the composition & artistic balance was sublime (still wrong though)

Again a similar thing happened to me but on this occasion it was the shop owner that phoned me up to complain that the arrow was pointing in the wrong direction on the double sided A board I had made for her.

Is it pointing in the wrong direction on both sides I asked?

She thought for a moment then said.. err yes…

Turn the sign around then I said… :rollseyes:

I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity of some people :awkward:

[Chris Wilson]

Again a similar thing happened to me but on this occasion it was the shop owner that phoned me up to complain that the arrow was pointing in the wrong direction on the double sided A board I had made for her.

Is it pointing in the wrong direction on both sides I asked?

She thought for a moment then said.. err yes…

Turn the sign around then I said… :rollseyes:

I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity of some people :awkward:[/quote]

And they say we have one of the best education systems in the world. Just wow!

[NeilRoss]

quote Phill Fenton:

Again a similar thing happened to me but on this occasion it was the shop owner that phoned me up to complain that the arrow was pointing in the wrong direction on the double sided A board I had made for her.

Is it pointing in the wrong direction on both sides I asked?

She thought for a moment then said.. err yes…

Turn the sign around then I said… :rollseyes:

I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity of some people :awkward:

Yes, I’ve had that response for double sided pavement boards. I think they visualise the sign from one direction only and when they see it from the other side they just don’t try to work it out.

[Kevin Mahoney]

These are the same people who spend 30 seconds pulling on a door that says push. Had one a few years ago who brought in a toughened glass hanging sign for lettering. That on its own made me a little uncomfortable but I was the asked to do an elaborate letter B on both sides of a clear piece of glass that was to be visible from both sides & both sides were to be the right way round. No amount of explaining would convince him that it wouldn’t work, he had a picture in his head & thought I was being difficult. His restaurant is still there today & funnily enough, a very large bracket with no sign

[NeilRoss]

quote Kevin Mahoney:

These are the same people who spend 30 seconds pulling on a door that says push. Had one a few years ago who brought in a toughened glass hanging sign for lettering. That on its own made me a little uncomfortable but I was the asked to do an elaborate letter B on both sides of a clear piece of glass that was to be visible from both sides & both sides were to be the right way round. No amount of explaining would convince him that it wouldn’t work, he had a picture in his head & thought I was being difficult. His restaurant is still there today & funnily enough, a very large bracket with no sign

LOL that one really did make me laugh out loud! 😆

[Myriam Garrido]

Do you know, we did a drawing for an extra long wheel base Iveco van for a local tree stump grinding company. The guy was absolutely insistent that he didn’t want the graphics applied directly to the van but to alupanel and this screwed/riveted to the vehicle All the way around (about 500mm high !)

Of course we spent a considerable length of time telling him THE most obvious reason for us not to do this however no amount of rationalisation or common sense would prevail despite serious frowning behind painful disbelief.

So as requested we riveted black, signed alupanel all the way around the van even folding it around the rear corners.

As I sit here typing this I cringe with guilt fueled laughter and bemusement at the thought of when the guy took all the signs off ! A mobile sieve.

Some people can’t be helped

[NeilRoss]

quote Myriam Garrido:

Do you know, we did a drawing for an extra long wheel base Iveco van for a local tree stump grinding company. The guy was absolutely insistent that he didn’t want the graphics applied directly to the van but to alupanel and this screwed/riveted to the vehicle All the way around (about 500mm high !)

Of course we spent a considerable length of time telling him THE most obvious reason for us not to do this however no amount of rationalisation or common sense would prevail despite serious frowning behind painful disbelief.

So as requested we riveted black, signed alupanel all the way around the van even folding it around the rear corners.

As I sit here typing this I cringe with guilt fueled laughter and bemusement at the thought of when the guy took all the signs off ! A mobile sieve.

Some people can’t be helped

From a safety point of view, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable using a composite material on a vehicle. Just saying …

[Phill Fenton]

I blame H&S and modern medical advances for the increase in stupidity amongst the general population. For centuries the more idiotic amongst us tended to live shorter lives which meant their genes were gradually being filtered out of the gene pool. With the advent of Health and Safety and modern medical advances it seems more of these people are surviving longer with more opportunity to pass their genes onto the next generation. :awkward:

[David Stevenson]

quote Phill Fenton:

I blame H&S and modern medical advances for the increase in stupidity amongst the general population. For centuries the more idiotic amongst us tended to live shorter lives which meant their genes were gradually being filtered out of the gene pool. With the advent of Health and Safety and modern medical advances it seems more of these people are surviving longer with more opportunity to pass their genes onto the next generation. :awkward:

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] Ffs Phill you nearly filtered me out there with that comment, I choked on my coffee laughing!!!

[David Stevenson]

quote David Stevenson:

quote Phill Fenton:

I blame H&S and modern medical advances for the increase in stupidity amongst the general population. For centuries the more idiotic amongst us tended to live shorter lives which meant their genes were gradually being filtered out of the gene pool. With the advent of Health and Safety and modern medical advances it seems more of these people are surviving longer with more opportunity to pass their genes onto the next generation. :awkward:

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] Ffs Phill you nearly filtered me out there with that comment, I choked on my coffee laughing!!!

To make matters worst I’ve just burnt my scone in the toaster replying lol

[Kevin Mahoney]

quote Phill Fenton:

I blame H&S and modern medical advances for the increase in stupidity amongst the general population. For centuries the more idiotic amongst us tended to live shorter lives which meant their genes were gradually being filtered out of the gene pool. With the advent of Health and Safety and modern medical advances it seems more of these people are surviving longer with more opportunity to pass their genes onto the next generation. :awkward:

At last! Somebody’s said it out loud.
Mother Nature is the only HSE we need.
The stupid should be allowed to walk through plate glass windows & use wobbly step ladders & shouldn’t be discouraged.
The savings for the NHS alone would be phenomenal not to mention the increase in business for those poor struggling funeral directors. I’m just saying

[Iain George]

quote Kevin Mahoney:

quote Phill Fenton:

I blame H&S and modern medical advances for the increase in stupidity amongst the general population. For centuries the more idiotic amongst us tended to live shorter lives which meant their genes were gradually being filtered out of the gene pool. With the advent of Health and Safety and modern medical advances it seems more of these people are surviving longer with more opportunity to pass their genes onto the next generation. :awkward:

At last! Somebody’s said it out loud.
Mother Nature is the only HSE we need.
The stupid should be allowed to walk through plate glass windows & use wobbly step ladders & shouldn’t be discouraged.
The savings for the NHS alone would be phenomenal not to mention the increase in business for those poor struggling funeral directors. I’m just saying

I always thought funeral directors were in a dead end job.

[David Hammond]

Stiff competition in that industry.

[Colin Crabb]

Its a dying trade.

[Iain George]

Their shops are normally dead centre of the high Street

[Jamie Palmer]

On completion of some vehicle graphics on a clients drive, he pulls out a spirit level to try to prove its not level. I kindly asked him to place the spirit level on the bottom sill of the van. Laughed all the way back to the office!

[David Stevenson]

quote Iain George:

quote Kevin Mahoney:

quote Phill Fenton:

I blame H&S and modern medical advances for the increase in stupidity amongst the general population. For centuries the more idiotic amongst us tended to live shorter lives which meant their genes were gradually being filtered out of the gene pool. With the advent of Health and Safety and modern medical advances it seems more of these people are surviving longer with more opportunity to pass their genes onto the next generation. :awkward:

At last! Somebody’s said it out loud.
Mother Nature is the only HSE we need.
The stupid should be allowed to walk through plate glass windows & use wobbly step ladders & shouldn’t be discouraged.
The savings for the NHS alone would be phenomenal not to mention the increase in business for those poor struggling funeral directors. I’m just saying

I always thought funeral directors were in a dead end job.

I know an undertaker who joking said he wanted "dwarfs half price, politicians free" on the side of his hearse!

[Mark Piddington]

I’ve got a customer I’d like to nominate for this award! Client contacted me regarding 2 large banners they wanted to be fitted to an old lorry that they park on a private flyover of a dual carriageway! I go to the site and measure the job, client wants the banner large enough to disguise that it’s fitted to an old wreck of a lorry so I measure the banner with the intention of producing a frame fixed to the main body extending over the cab. Send quote to the client including the dimensions, they return my email saying the boss wants them to find a cheaper quote! A month passes by and I get an email asking if I could come and fit the banner, they had ordered one online and now can’t work out how to fit it!

[Denise Goodfellow]

When the customer gives you the text required for the window graphics.
You email back a proof, they reply with…. it’s spelt like this…. you google the definition and it means something totally different so you send them a screen shot of google and they email back saying they are correct, they should know as they’ve been in the industry for 4 years.

Ok… you do as requested and before the lad returns back to base, they ring you to say it’s not spelt like that…. and can you do it again.

Not a problem, that will be another £100…

“What I have to pay again?”

Yes you stupid woman you do.

[Phil Davies]

quote Denise Goodfellow:

Yes you stupid woman you do.

😆

[Denise Goodfellow]

Apparently because we won’t produce the wrongly worded decals and fit for free… we have terrible customer relations. Mistake all the customers fault, even asked them to check

[Den Chandler]

Received a call from a gentleman about mag signs for his van. Having established that we could help him he lists everything that he wants on there (including a logo that I can design for him if I’ve ‘got a efw minutes to spare’) and asks when it will be ready. I point out that he hasn’t given me sizes and he replies that he wants it to fit on the side of his van!

I pointed out that it didn’t help me a whole lot and could he please measure the van and give me the dimensions of the magnets that he wanted. 10 minutes later I received the following…

Surely he makes the shortlist!!

[David Hammond]

No Den, I think he’s right there. That’s obviously that wide, by about this high. Just under you know standard size :rollseyes:

[David Stevenson]

Yeah whatever the "normal" size is should do nicely. Reminds me in this clip of Mr Bean. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O61Y7IYA6g

[Den Chandler]

quote David Hammond:

No Den, I think he’s right there. That’s obviously that wide, by about this high. Just under you know standard size :rollseyes:

To clarify… his mate has one that’s just the right size… he had it done by a fella over in Ireland, sure yez can make it that size!’

[Den Chandler]

quote David Stevenson:

Yeah whatever the “normal” size is should do nicely. Reminds me in this clip of Mr Bean. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O61Y7IYA6g

Of course, don’t know why I didn’t think of that, the normal size would have done just fine!

[Chris Wilson]

Price for magnetics that are triple the size or really small. When he picks up tell him it look really big on your monitor and he agreed

[Phill Fenton]

quote Den Chandler:

Received a call from a gentleman about mag signs for his van. Having established that we could help him he lists everything that he wants on there (including a logo that I can design for him if I’ve ‘got a efw minutes to spare’) and asks when it will be ready. I point out that he hasn’t given me sizes and he replies that he wants it to fit on the side of his van!

I pointed out that it didn’t help me a whole lot and could he please measure the van and give me the dimensions of the magnets that he wanted. 10 minutes later I received the following…

Surely he makes the shortlist!!

And he was trying so hard to be helpfull..either that or taking the mickey :awkward:

[Kevin Mahoney]

“I don’t have a tape measure but I can give you the registration number” that one cracks me up, they often think we have a database with all their vehicles details on.

[Phill Fenton]

There are number of databases available on line – this one is my favourite:-

https://www.check-mot.service.gov.uk/?_ … 1504612488

[Kevin Busby]

The baseball cap worn backwards, thats all you needed to know, not worth going any further with this customer as obviously too stupid to be in business.

Having said that at least he supplied more information than some, better than its a large white van you know their’s lots of them about like it LOL

[Kevin Mahoney]

‘It’s exactly the same as my last van’…… but we didn’t do your last van?

[Allister wells]

[quote="Den Chandler"]Received a call from a gentleman about mag signs for his van. Having established that we could help him he lists everything that he wants on there (including a logo that I can design for him if I’ve ‘got a efw minutes to spare’) and asks when it will be ready. I point out that he hasn’t given me sizes and he replies that he wants it to fit on the side of his van!

I pointed out that it didn’t help me a whole lot and could he please measure the van and give me the dimensions of the magnets that he wanted. 10 minutes later I received the following…

Surely he makes the shortlist!!

when you asked him for fonts did you not get the usual reply i get "ya know just block!" so you send them arial black etc to then be told ….no we want this 1…

[David Hammond]

I don’t want to peak too early for the 2019 award, but this one is brilliant.

We applied some ‘M Sport’ decals to a customers car, he’d had it repaired and ordered the genuine kit from BMW for us to fit.

He came back today with some M sport caliper stickers to pop on his newly painted calipers.

"I’m thinking, I might add a thin yellow stripe to the splitter, and sills, What do you think?"

It’s his car and he can do as he pleases.

"You reckon you can do it for me?"

Sure, how hard can it be?

"Great I’ve got some stuff here for you to do it with"

To which he appears from his car with a roll of yellow insulation tape 😆

I refrained from laughing and did my best, got paid for my time, and warned him it probably won’t last long at all.